An update

Well, last night, I was perusing google maps of Oklahoma city, I was about ready to just head home and that guy shows back up asking if I can give him a ride somewhere.

Now, I would never recommend just giving some guy a ride at 4:30 in the morning, in a town you are unfamiliar with. I am, however, still alive. It was an interesting experience. I had some apprehension about it at first, and in fact, when I saw the neighborhood that I was taking him to, and he asked me to wait for a minute, there was some concern that he was trying to make some money by selling my belongings to some thugs... But, like I said, I am still alive.

In all honesty, my biggest concern was that he would stink up my car, but that was pretty minor. He did, by the way. He reeked of stale cigarettes and month old BO. By the time I got back to Wichita, though, that had worn off... I would say that it was worth it because I got to help someone in need. Even if it was just preventing him from having to walk 4 miles.

I spend my days helping people, it just seemed natural to help this man, and hopefully, something good will come of it.

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It all seems so trivial looking back. Here I am, driving my car, I can just afford to drop the tank of gas that it took to get down there and back. I'm all depressed about my life and my troubles. Then I meet this guy.

He is literally living on the streets bumming money to get food and a shower. I am not naive, I know that at least to some degree that man is responsible for his fate. We all make our choices and we all have to live with them. At this point though, he is in a much worse way than I have ever been, yet, that has not prevented me from feeling sorry for myself over the insignificant things that trouble me.

Something changed last night I think. Things still trouble me, but for some reason, I just don't care as much anymore.

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I really am done, you don't need to worry anymore. Whatever happens, happens and I will no longer try to make things happen. I will no longer push my will on my emotional state, I will accept those things that affect my life.

I am sorry for any trouble I caused.