Loneliness

I have always perceived myself as a sociopath, in at least some form or another. I suppose I am so some degree, but I am finding that I am not nearly as much so as I have always thought.

Now it is very true that I enjoy time to be alone. I don't use this time to be introspective or anything, I just like to have time to just ignore the rest of the world and do something that I like to do. This usually ends up just sitting online screwing around, but I am not after any end goal, just the pursuit.

It has occurred to me lately that I really don't enjoy being alone much at all. Not, at least, if I have no choice in the matter. Take last night for instance. Kevin and I had decided that we would go to Keith's place to work out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (Fridays are also game night so that works out nicely).

Well, last night Keith was not to be found so we didn't go work out. What did I do? I went home and watched two episodes of Avatar and then drove to BK, got online for a bit and then went home and went to sleep...

I found myself yearning for some type of human interaction that I couldn't find. The one person I thought about that I could just talk pointless crap with, I just couldn't bring myself to do anything other than ask a stupid question in a desperate act of "I'm still here, just in case you were worried..."

I am finding that my life really is pretty pathetic outside of work and my geek culture.

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On a completely unrelated note.

I have been bitten by the mod bug. I made the mistake of pricing an exhaust kit for my Tib. Previously I had believed the Borls catback kit was severely outside the realm of sensible cost. I discovered that it is half what I had thought. I then, today discovered that a fellow Tib owner has taken it upon themselves to produce supercharger kits for teh 3rd gen Tiburon that is literally a direct bolt on. These two items alone would easily put my car over 200 horses on the pavement. Alas, there is no humanly possible way that I will ever allow myself to spend that kind of money...

At any rate, my current "mod" is buying silverstars for all three pair of lights on the front of my car. Yes, three. Two H7 kits because the low beams are projectors and the high beams are reflected and then a pair of 9006s for the projector fogs. Eventually an HID retro would be nice, especially if I could manage a Bi-Xenon setup and just ignore those reflectors entirely....