Why?

Why can't I just leave well enough alone? Why do I have to fuck everything good up?

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I've started going back to the Foundry. I had forgotten that Mark Waner was going there. This is a man who was literally one of my first spiritual father figures. Pastor Russ was not there last week, my first week going there. And Pastor Mark (I don't know if he is pastor or what, but I just know him as Pastor Mark, anything else feels funny) did the service. It was good. It's been a long time since I felt comfortable in church.

I know...

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I am so lost right now. Nothing really makes sense. I thought I had figured something out, but again, I manage to screw it up. I feel as though I just can't do things right.

I'm sitting here... I am waiting...